


Serial Killers? More Like Cereal Killers

by EmGrz6



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, FBI, M/M, Serial Killers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 14:25:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16894317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmGrz6/pseuds/EmGrz6
Summary: Lucifer Novak and Michael Milton are best friends and FBI agents. They've caught dozens of serial killers, psyco- and sociopaths, and other dangerous criminals. But when a serial couple escape a high tech prison and go on the run together, they're after the biggest criminals they've ever heard of. As the two follow the couple across the country, and maybe even the world, they realise that sometimes the good guys and bad guys are more similar than they think.





	1. Chapter 1

"Agent Novak, do not engage. Wait for back-up, you don't know what's in there. I sent a team, they're about 3-5 minutes away." Chief Henriksen's voice came through Lucifer's radio in his ear. 

He was lying next to a row of bushes that lined the front yard of a house they'd been watching for weeks, waiting for anything suspicious. The FBI had a few pieces of info about a nationwide drug cartel, and they all seemed to put that house at the centre of the scheme. 

Lucifer's partner, Michael Milligan, had been given time off work to heal from a bullet wound from the first time they watched the house together. He was probably sitting back at their apartment, waiting for him to get home. Michael had no idea what Lucifer was doing today, and Lucifer knew that if Michael found out, he'd never hear the end of it. 

"Okay-dokey boss, whatever you say." Lucifer muttered back, his tone light even in the tense situation.

"Remember, keep it professional Novak. This may be the last chance for us, and your partner's not here to real you in." 

Lucifer frowned for a few seconds, remembering what had happened last time they did this. "Got it boss, no-one's getting shot this time. Not on my watch."

"That attitude's what I'm worried about. People get shot in this job, they know what they were getting into when they signed up, but you can't try to stop it. Keep that 'big brother' attitude on a tight leash."

Lucifer grimaced, knowing and hating that he was right. "Sir, yes sir!" 

"Don't mock me, Novak. The team's almost there, I want you to sneak around to the back and they'll go the the front and work their way through. Make sure no-one leaves. We're trying to be non-lethal today, but kill if you need to." Henriksen's voice was as grim as the sky. 

Lucifer pushed himself into a crawling position and peered through the bushes. Once he figured out a rough plan to get to the back yard, he started moving. Contrary to popular belief, Lucifer was better at this, the spying and sneaking, than shooting and all the action. Michael always joked he'd be better at spying that the Black Widow. 

Lucifer shook himself out of his thoughts and focused on moving silently behind the bushes. He considered what he was doing a sort of art; you had to have the perfect variables to get the perfect result. One stick break, one false movement could destroy the illusion he was putting up. Lucifer knew that the men by the door didn't want a fight or disturbance, so even if he made small mistakes or they somehow heard his movements, it was easy to make them believe it was just the wind.  
After he reached the end of the bushes and the end of the left side of the building, he peeked around the back corner and scanned the area. It was surprising sparingly guarded, for which he thanked whatever deity was watching out for him. 

"I've reached the back; just waiting on your signal to take out the two guards by the door. How far away is the team?" Lucifer asked, eyeing the young looking men holding menacingly black guns that seemed to be bigger than his head.

"Good, team is about 30 seconds away. When you start hearing action in the front, I want to to come in. Wait before you do so to see if the guards will stay or leave."

Lucifer started nodding before realising he couldn't see him. "Copy that Chief. They look rather young and naive, they'll probably run." He didn't get a response, but knew Henriksen had heard him.

A few seconds later he heard shots coming from the front yard. Lucifer looked over at the two (666 words lol) guys in front. "Three, two, one," He silently counted down, smirking when they ran through the door to help. "Checkmate." Lucifer thought before running into the yard, adrenaline pulsing through his veins in anticipation.  
::::::::::::::::::  
"Honey, I'm home!" Lucifer yelled sarcastically as he stumbled into the apartment him and Michael shared. 

Michael shouted back from somewhere inside, probably his room, "There's dinner on the kitchen counter." 

As Lucifer took his shoes and coat off, Michael wandered into his view. "What happened today?" He asked, as usual.

"Nothin' much, just the average stuff. I stalked that cartel house for a few hours. Finally got some dirt on them, so Henriksen sent in me and a team."

Michael looked up from where he had sat on the couch in surprise. "You went in without me?" 

Walking over to the kitchen to warm up his food, Lucifer replied apologetically. "Yeah, sorry Mikey. You know how it is, you get a chance and you take it. Wish you would've been there though, could've used your help."

"What happened?" Lucifer grabbed his food from the microwave and settled on a chair in the living room across from Michael.

"We had a few newbies to the 'take prisoners, not lives' motto, and so they got a little careless. The baddies weren't the worst ever, just a little smarter than the newbies. I'm lucky that the Chief reminded me to 'put a leash on my big brother attitude'; I almost took a bullet for one of them."

Michael snorted and raised an eyebrow. "What, did he remind you too much of Anna or Gabe?" He instantly felt bad for saying it, family was a line the two didn't cross when it came to bantering with each other.

"Actually, yeah, he did. I haven't seen them in forever; I think the last time we went out there was Thanksgiving a year ago?" Lucifer responded, playfulness gone from his voice. 

Michael smiled sadly. "It's going to be two years in about two weeks, but this year we'll get out there. Henriksen said that they're not taking our vacation days out of the days we use to get better, so we have about 20 days to spend off, plus when we actually need to take a day off."

Lucifer pumped his fists in the air, slightly elbowing the chair behind him by accident. "Yes! Can we go on a giant road trip and visit all our family for Christmas?"

"I'm good to go if you are. Hopefully our family can handle us for that long," He said, laughing a little at the end of his sentence. 

Lucifer looked over at his best friend and tried to memorize that moment. It was small things like that that hit him like a punch in the gut. He'd come to terms with the fact Michael was not into him even though he was pan, but it was times like these ones where Lucifer realised that he liked, maybe even loved, his best friend that he'd known forever. 

Lucifer shook himself out of his thoughts before Michael noticed he was staring at him. "Yeah, the good thing is that if they're too much, we can just go visit the next family on our list!" The two grinned at each other for a few seconds before Lucifer continued eating and Michael dove back into his John Grisham novel. 

"You're reading him again? Dude, that is so incredibly cliche." Lucifer commented when he noticed what he was reading. 

Michael peered over the top of the book and glared at him. "I don't really care, he's a good author."

"Hey, I'm just saying." Lucifer held up his hands in defense. "I dare you to read that in front of Henriksen. He'd probably blow his top off." He smirked.

Michael laughed. "Yeah, and I should read The Firm in front of Brady." When he saw Lucifer's confused look, he expanded, "It's a book about lawyers and a firm that is sort-of really messed up." 

Lucifer raised his eyebrows in surprise. "How can you read all those and not remember what happens in them? I literally seem to be able to remember everyone that I've ever met. I can still remember the names of the kids in my 5th grade class, including my teacher and principal!" 

Michael dissolved into laughter, his book long forgotten.  
::::::::::::::::  
Meanwhile on the other side of town, Castiel Collins and Dean Winchester walked down the dusty road. To the others around them, they looked like just your everyday couple, but if you took a closer look, you'd realise there was small things that were just a little off. Tiny quirks that no-one would notice, like how Castiel's gaze seemed to follow every movement around them, Dean's baseball cap was pulled too low to be normal, they walked a bit too fast to be relaxed, and, the most noticeable, the fact that Dean looked like he'd gotten in a fight with a trigger happy elephant and lost. 

"How's your head?" Castiel asked, his tone light. To anyone else, it would've looked like they were talking about the weather.

Dean grunted slightly before putting on an obviously fake smile. "Hurts like hell, but I can last till we get to Bobby's." 

Castiel smiled brightly and laughed a little. "That's good, we should be there soon." He leaned into Dean a little more and muttered out of the corner of his mouth, "Can you make that smile a little more believable for me? If they find out because your smile's not real, I swear to Chuck, I'll kill you."

"You're hilarious!" Dean chuckled, his smile becoming realer. You never would have known he was just threatened by the third most dangerous man in the USA, third only to Dean and his younger brother, Sam Winchester.  
The three had been the most deadly serial killers that were still on the loose, until Sam decided he'd had enough and turned Dean and Cas in, in exchange for the most freedom someone who'd killed 32 people could get. He'd settled down in Lawrence, Kansas while his brother and best friend rotted in prison. He'd had gotten a girlfriend whom he was planning on proposing to in a few weeks, while they'd gotten punches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  
But they were out now. Sam's paradise would be ruined, and they'd get their revenge. They just had to make it to Bobby's, and then they would be freemen again.


	2. Chapter 2

7 Weeks Later  
"MIKEY! We gotta go bro!" Lucifer shouted up the stairs. 

Michael tossed his bags down the stairs. "Heads up!" Lucifer caught his bag easily and hauled it out to the car, tossing it into the backseat. "All set?" He asked as he walked out of their apartment building with a cooler filled with food.

"Yeah, just got to lock up. You grabbed the presents, right? Anna would kill us if we forgot them." 

"Yup! I still can't believe your little sister married my 2nd cousin and we didn't even get invited to their wedding." Michael said, getting into the packed car that they'd be spending the next few weeks in. 

"Or when they had a kid and didn't tell us." Lucifer added, starting the car.

"At least they told us when we called to tell them we'd be spending Christmas in Lawrence."

Lucifer nodded, chuckling slightly. "You know what I can't believe: the fact that they had a kid a few months ago and she's already pregnant again." 

"I can't imagine what they must've been like when they were dating." Michael's eyes went wide. "Glad you weren't there, or Adam would've been scared away by you." 

"Ha, yeah. Might have to give him the 'Big Brother' talk while I'm there if Gabe hasn't already." 

"Knowing him, he probably did, but he probably filled it with 'I'm okay with all this stuff 'cause I've done it too and I'm okay'." Michael joked. 

"Oh God, I don't even want to think about that! I still can't believe he's turning 22 next month and he's probably done more illegal stuff than me." Lucifer groaned. "I forgot he could legally drink now too, ugh." 

Laughing, Michael said, "I'm kinda scared that he'll spike the eggnog at Christmas and we'll end up with 4 drunk toddlers running around."

At this, Lucifer stopped laughing. "Four toddlers? I thought that only Anna and Adam had a kid?" 

"Didn't you hear? Remember Jessica Moore? She got engaged to some guy named Sam Campbell. Apparently she got knocked up right after high school, and he legally adopted him after they got engaged. He'll be about 6 right now, and Arlene and Christian Campbell's little girl is about the same age."

"So all the Campbells will be there too?" Michael nodded, and Lucifer's eyes went wide. "That means we're gonna have the Novaks, Campbells, and Miltons in one neighborhood for Christmas. Certainly cuts down on the places to visit on this road trip!"

"Yeah, this is going to be crazy." The two fell silent for a few moment before Lucifer grabbed his phone and tossed it at Michael. 

"Turn on my Potato playlist on Spotify, will you?"

"Sure, but no stupid pop songs, you got it?" Michael glared playfully at him. 

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Some are amazing and don't deserve to be grouped with the others, which are stupid songs about the same things." 

As Queen plays through the car, Michael challenges him, "Name one pop star that doesn't sing about the same things everyone else does."

Lucifer smirked. "Easy, Ed Sheeran." 

"Gotta agree with you there. Can you name one country singer that sings about different things than girls, trucks, and the outdoors?" 

"You gotta try harder, Brett Young and maybe Luke Bryan." Lucifer answered as they turned onto the highway and headed out of Detroit to Lawrence, Kansas.  
::::::::::::::::  
2 Days Later  
The car purred as they pulled into Lucifer's parent's driveway. "Praise Lord, Hallelujah! It's solid ground and a place to stay that's not a hotel!" Lucifer yelled as he clambered out of the passenger seat before Michael could even park the car. 

"Is that my son? Luci, dear, is that you?" Becky Novak asked, walking out to the car followed by her husband Chuck.

"Hey Mom, Dad." Lucifer pretended to dust off his pants before being swept into a bear hug by Becky. "Long time- no see." He gasped out. 

Michael chuckled as he got out of the car. "Hey Mr. and Mrs. Novak, how have you been?" 

"How many times do I have to tell you that you can just call us Chuck and Becky?" Chuck said as he pulled Michael into a one armed hug. "We've been doing goo-"

He was interrupted by Becky pushing past him and wrapping Michael in a smothering hug. "We'd be better if you two would come visit more often! What have you two been up to that's more important than family?" 

"Catching serial killers and other terrible people who want to destroy life as we know it." Lucifer deadpanned before Michael smacked the back of his head. 

"We didn't have enough vacation time or money to get out here, but we saved up and our boss gave us some time off for Christmas, so here we are!" Michael amended quickly. 

"Well, you two better not make it a habit, or we'll visit you in Detroit and drag you two home by your ears, you hear me?" Becky threatened. 

Michael and Lucifer's faces whitened. "Yes ma'am." The two had faced thousands of dangerous criminals, but none could frighten them like Becky Novak. 

Lucifer leaned over to whisper in Michael's ear, "I didn't think it was possible to meet someone scarier that Castiel Collins, but I think Mom's got him beat." 

Michael laughed a little, but he couldn't stop thinking about how close Lucifer's lips were to his neck. His brain seemed to have short circuited. 

Lucifer didn't even realise what he did until he had walked over to grab him and Michael's bags and realised that he was literally half an inch away from Michael's neck. He began to call to mind the amazing smell of Michael, that he couldn't hope to describe because it just simply was Michael, before he realised that it was slightly weird and he probably shouldn't think about that. 

Shouldering his bag and holding Michael's bag in his other hand, he began to make his way to the house. "Hey Mom, my room and the guest room are still open, right?" He called to Becky in the kitchen.

"Uh, about that." She called back. "One sec, let me finish cutting this up." Lucifer ignored her and dropped their bags before heading over to where his room used to be right next to the guest room. 

"Why is my room look like Pinkalicious puked on it?" He shouted, confused when his room was pink with a white crib and stuffed animals in a box on the floor. 

Becky appeared besides him holding a knife that still had a bit of broccoli on it. "Surprise! I'm pregnant again!" 

Michael chose that prime moment to walk through the door with the rest of of their stuff. "What?" 

"We only found out about 3 months ago. We wanted to tell you, but when we heard you guys were coming for Christmas, we decided to surprise you." She explained.

Lucifer seemed to still be comprehending the fact he was going to have another little sibling. "I'm going to have another little sister?" He asked, starting to smile. Becky nodded, smiling. Lucifer smiled so big he thought his mouth would split in half. "Oh my Chuck! I'm going to have a little sister Mikey!" 

Michael just smiled and nodded at his friend. He knew that this was just what Lucifer needed after seeing all those people these past few years that had terrible childhoods and grew up and continued the cycle. 

"So, you two will have to share the guest room. Sorry," Becky tried to look as apologetic as she could, but they both knew she wasn't sorry at all. Her inner fangirl had begun squealing about the fact the last ship she had that wasn't canon yet was going to have to sleep in the same room/bed for the next 4 weeks. 

Michael and Lucifer exchanged looks before Lucifer said, "That's okay, we've done it before." 

"Yeah, we'll be okay. Thanks for letting us stay with you Mrs. Novak." Michael added. 

Becky rolled her eyes. "You make me sound so old, just call me Becky! And what is family for, huh?" She turned to go back to the kitchen before she added, "Oh, Anna and Adam are coming over with their little one for dinner tonight, so be prepared!" 

"Thanks for the warning Mom!" Lucifer yelled back before grabbing some bags and entering the guest room. 

Memories seemed to wash over him as he remember playing with his siblings and Michael in here. "Remember when I accidentally tossed Gabe off the bed and he made that dent right there with his foot?" Michael asked as he walked into the room and pointed at a small dent in the wall. 

"Yeah, I remember you let him throw you off so you wouldn't get in trouble, but you ended up getting your tooth knocked out." Lucifer laughed. "Sometimes I wonder why Anna's such a tomboy, but remember moments like these. Wasn't she the best at those light saber fights we used to have with those pool noodles?" 

Michael nodded. "Yeah, I remember she made fun of you 'cause you used to do all these fancy spins like a Jedi Master and she'd 'stab' you mid-twirl." 

Lucifer grinned. "I was the best Jedi Master and you know it." 

"Can't deny that one," Michael laughed as he walked out to the hallway to grab another bag.


	3. Chapter 3

Yesterday

"Bobby, you gotta let us go. The son of a jackal ruined our lives, and I want some payback." Dean exclaimed angrily.

Bobby Singer shook his head. "It's suicide boys, you just got outta there. This'll pop you right into that hellhole."

Castiel stepped forward from where he was leaning against the wall. "I know it sounds stupid, but we can keep our temper. If they start catching on, we will get out of there. You should trust us on this, we know what we're doing."

"Alright, fine. Go kill people, but promise me something: if you see Sam, don't kill him. Bring him back here. I want to talk to him before you guys gank him."

Dean's eyes widened. "You didn't think we were going to actually kill him, did you? We're just going to kill the things he cares the most about and make sure he won't die before his time."

Castiel evilly smiled before adding, "Karma's best served cold."

"Cas, it's justice, not karma." Dean said, shaking his head.   
:::::::::::::::  
The two made it into Lawrence just before sunset. They booked a hotel room under fake names and credit cards before driving around the city to see where exactly things were so tomorrow they could travel around town unnoticed.

"So, plan for tomorrow. You can follow Sam around, because you're less likely to get mad and hit him and you're better at it while I will walk around town and get acquainted with the people." Dean said.

"You better not just go to the bar and drink with some guys because that doesn't count as getting to know the town. Make sure you get one of the local newspapers, they have all important stuff usually." Castiel shot Dean a stern look.

Dean smirked before joking, "Cas, I get all tingly when you take control like that."

Instead of laughing, Castiel just looked worried. "That's slightly worrying Dean, you might want to get something to help with that."

Dean only laughed harder at the raven haired man. "It's a joke Cas!" He gasped out.

"Oh, sorry." Castiel tilted his head to he looked like a confused kitten. "How is that funny?"

"Never mind, let's get back to the hotel." Dean said, still smiling a little as he turned around.   
::::::::::::::::  
The Next Day

A few hours after the Lucifer and Michael had arrived, a knock sounded at the door, followed by Becky shouting, "Can someone get the door!"

Lucifer got off of the couch he and Michael were sitting on and walked over to the door. "Hey Anna, long time no see!"

The red-head playfully punched her brother in the arm. "What's up Luci?" She asked, calling him by a nickname she knew he hated.

"Mommy, who's that?" A small strawberry blonde girl with bright blue eyes asked.

Adam picked her up and answered, "Alice, this is your uncle Lucifer."

Her eyes widened as she shifted around to get a better look at Lucifer. "Are you evil?"

Lucifer, Adam, and Anna started laughing while Alice looked innocently at them. "No sweetheart, that's just his name." Anna said after they stopped laughing.

Lucifer leaned in to whisper in Alice's ear. "I'll tell you a secret: Lucifer used to be an angel, until he turned evil and got kicked out. So, moral of the story: stay good or you'll get kicked out!"

"Don't corrupt my little girl with your Satanist rubbish!" Anna growled at him.

Lucifer smirked. "Number one, no one says rubbish but British people, and number two, I'm telling her to be good, which society says is the opposite of Satanic."

Anna shook her head as Lucifer stepped aside to let them in. He wandered into the kitchen to find Michael and Becky; Michael was reading again and Becky was cooking something.

"Whatever you're cooking smells amazing, when's dinner?" Lucifer asked as his stomach rumbled.

"Dinner will be ready in about 15 minutes. Can you two set the table for me?" Becky smiled sweetly at them.

"Sure, it's the least we can do." Michael answered before Lucifer could, knowing it'd be something along the lines of 'nah, I'm good'.

Lucifer glared at him. "Just like old times, hey?"

Michael grinned as he opened the cupboard where the plates were as Anna, Adam, and Alice walked into the kitchen. "Hi Grandma!" Alice said as she walked into the kitchen, teetering a little.

"Why hello there Alice, how are you?" Becky asked, bending down a little to pick her up.

Meanwhile, Anna and Adam had spotted Michael. "Hey, Mikey! Haven't seen you in forever!" Anna said as she gave him a small hug.

"Well it wouldn't have been that long if you two would've invited us to your wedding!" Michael replied, raising an eyebrow. "Hey Adam, how's life?"

"Not too bad, how about you?" Adam smiled as Anna went over to Becky and Alice.

Michael shrugged. "It's pretty good, glad I got a vacation from work." He grabbed some plates while Lucifer chose a bunch of silverware.

Adam laughed. "Yeah, I feel you there. It seems like it just gets harder. So, any new criminals I should be worried about this year?"

Lucifer smirked. "Sorry, but that's classified. No can do on that one, but just lock your doors and get your will written."

"Are your threatening my husband?" Anna asked as she leaned against the wall.

"Not yet, just telling him how to stay safe from all the baddies out there." Lucifer replied before turning back to Adam. "You know how to shoot a gun, right?"

"Yeah, I can hold my own with one."

Michael nodded. "That's good, some people can't. I'm not one to be preaching on a soapbox, but I think it'd be better to show people the damage a gun can cause and how to properly handle one than to get rid of them altogether."

Adam smiled. "I should've known that you would've been one of those guys that can debate gun control and not spit hate everywhere. You should see some of the guys I work with, they are absolutely insane when the topic is brought up."

"Yeah, we have a few people like that too. They just annoy me because sometimes I can't even understand them." Lucifer chuckled.

"Dinner's ready!" Becky called.

Lucifer and Michael grinned. "Finally!" They said in unison.   
::::::::::::::::  
After dinner, the small group sat together in the living room talking with each other while Alice ran around trying to get someone to push her on the swings outside.

"Grandpa, swings?" She asked Chuck, putting on her famous pair of puppy eyes.

Chuck grimaced before shaking his head. "Grandpa's back hurts, I'm sorry."

Alice ran to Michael. "Mikey, swings?"

Michael smiled, ruffling her blond hair. "Sure kid, let's go." Alice grinned at him before grabbing his hand and pulling him outside to the swings.

Once the pair disappeared, Anna leaned in to ask Lucifer, "So, when are you going to grow a pair and pop the question?"

Lucifer's eyes widened and he started choking on his water that he'd been drinking. "What are you ta-. Me and Mikey aren't dating!"

Adam looked confused. "Wait, you two aren't a thing?"

Lucifer shook his head violently. "He's not into me!"

"But did he say he liked guys?" Becky asked with a smirk, knowing what the answer was already.

"Yeah, bu-" Lucifer answered, cut off by Anna.

"Dude, he's so in love with you that I could see it a mile away and I haven't seen you two in two years! Adam's never met you and he thought you were dating!" She leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest. "Trust me, he likes you. If he didn't, I would've been a good sister and told you to stop looking at him like he hung the moon and stars because it would be kinda creepy, but he looks at you the same way, so it's not that creepy."

"I can tell I'm not changing your minds on this, am I?" Lucifer asked, looking around at them all. "Okay, I'm going to go outside and spend time with my niece and best friend." He glared them as he said best friend, but it was a more of a sad and defeated glare than a mad glare.

Lucifer already knew what would happen if he told Michael, he'd seen enough people fall in love and then fall out of love. One of his friends had met his wife in a fairytale like way, they'd met in Bootcamp for the Navy, dated for a little while, but broke up. They figured they wouldn't see each other again, but they were put on the same ship in the same line of work. Eventually they started dating again, and the rest was history. Skip forward about 12 years and they're both filing for divorce. Moral of the story is that no matter how perfect the story, you both have to make it work, no matter what, and Michael wasn't willing to make it work.

"What brings you out here?" Michael called as Lucifer stepped out the back door, a smile on his face as Alice babbled on about her friend Ash's new dog.

Lucifer summoned a smile before responding. "The grownups started gossiping, so I figured I'd go spend some time with my favourite niece." Alice giggled as Lucifer walked forward before pretending to be kicked down by Alice's legs. "Oh, you got me!"

Michael grinned as he watched Lucifer and Alice interact. "I didn't know you were so good with kids." He commented.

"I used to babysit in my spare time as a teen because I didn't want to do anything else for a job." Lucifer pretended to be kicked down again. "Kids were easier for me to work with than other people my age."

"I remember I worked at Mcdonalds and you'd bring a gaggle of kids in on my shift after you could drive." Michael said, pushing Alice a little harder to make her go higher.

Lucifer smirked as he fell onto the ground again. "Yeah, they loved to play on the playground and eat chicken nuggets when they got tired of running around. They'd be entertained for hours. Made my job a heck of a lot easier."

"You're such a Slytherin, I swear." Michael grinned at him, getting slightly lost in Lucifer's eyes before he was brought harshly back to reality when Alice and the swing slammed into his leg. "Ouch! Fudging swing!" Lucifer and Alice laughed at Michael's attempt at avoiding profanity. "Oh, shut up. That hurt!"

"Hey kids, you want dessert?" Anna called out the backdoor.

"Who you callin' kid, we're older than you?" Lucifer called back while Alice tried to jump off the swing.

Michael quickly grabbed her and the swing and slowed them both down. "Whoa there cowgirl, wait a minute."

As soon as she could, Alice jumped off the swing and raced towards the door. "Race you!" She yelled behind her.

"Hey!" Lucifer yelled back before jumping off the ground and running towards her. He easily caught her and scooped her up bridal style, and started tickling her as he burst through the door into the house.

Michael watched them go with a small smile on his face. "God, that was adorable."


	4. Chapter 4

::::::::::::::  
"How you doin' Cas?" Dean asked as he answered the phone.

"I'm fine. Sam is engaged to a girl named Jessica Moore. She has a kid named Ash that Sam adopted also. They live at 3682 Chino Street. Sam seems to work at the local police station and Jessica works at the local hospital. Ash goes to the local private school, St. Gabriel's. They have a St. Bernard, so we'll have to get a dog to help with that." Castiel's voice came through the phone. 

"Cool. I'll pick up a dog tomorrow. You should get back to the hotel and take a nap. I found a friend of his that should be easy enough to take out. She's supposed to be at a bar tonight at 8, so we'll go there at around 9 and wait for her to leave." Dean said as he opened Baby's door and got in.

"Okay. I'll see you there. If I'm asleep, don't wake me up. I forgot how much energy it takes to stalk someone." Dean barked a laugh. "What?" Castiel asked confusedly.

Dean sandwiched the flip phone between his head and shoulder so he could keep both hands on the wheel. "Nothing, I just realised how weird our lives are."

"Yeah, I suppose so. I'll ask the hotel people if we can keep a dog in our room. Probably say something like we came here to get the dog, so just go with whatever they say." Dean could practically see the smirk that Castiel had on.

"Cool. Get rested up, I'm gonna need you tonight." He barely finished his sentence before Castiel hung up on him. "Okay, bye Cas." Dean muttered sarcastically as he pulled into the local animal shelter.   
::::::::::::::::  
Three Hours Later  
"Hey, Cas buddy. It's time to go." Dean said softly as he gently shook Castiel awake. "You'd think that a serial killer would sleep lighter." He muttered before sighing. "I'm so going to get punched for this."

He walked over to one of the bags he'd brought and rummaged through it. After a few seconds of looking, Dean pulled out an airhorn. He sighed again before gritting his teeth and put it next to Castiel's ear. "Cas, buddy. If you don't get up right now, I'm going to make a very loud noise." He warned. Castiel didn't respond, so Dean pressed down the top of the air horn.

The reaction was immediate. Castiel jumped up, grabbed Dean's hand, and tried to flip Dean over his shoulder, but actually just threw Dean on the floor who pulled Castiel down with him. "Ugh, I hate you so much right now!" He yelled.

Dean smirked before flipping them over so he was on top and Castiel was pinned underneath him on the floor. "Do you?" He asked, his voice husky as he leaned so close to Castiel that he could smell Dean's mint toothpaste.

Suddenly, a giant St. Bernard barreled into Dean, ruining the moment. The dog started licking Castiel's face until Dean pulled her off him. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. This is Ruby, our new dog!"

Castiel sat up and stared at Ruby, who was about eye level with him when she was standing and he was sitting. "I thought I said borrow?"

Dean grinned, running his hands through Ruby's fur. "Well, I figured that it'd be better if we just kept her. Bobby could use her when we're busy, and she'll be useful for cops."

Castiel stood and started petting Ruby too, surprised when she moved closer to him, nearly knocking him over. "True. I think she likes me."

"I've always wanted to get a dog. Now we can cliche and run with a dog in the mornings."

Castiel looked up at him. "Which brings us back to the plan. Tomorrow I'll run with the dog because I've changed the most and I know where Sam likes to run with the dog. When should we leave tonight?"

Checking his watch, Dean answered, "She got there about half an hour ago and the bar is on the other side of town, so we should leave in about 10 minutes. I'm all ready, but you should change."

Castiel looked down at his sweater and black sweatpants. "Yeah, I'll change. Give me 5, then we'll head out. Make sure she's fed before we leave."

As he left to the bathroom, Dean yelled after him, "I'm gonna take her outside right now. I don't want her pooping on our carpets."   
::::::::::::::  
On the opposite side of town, Anna, Adam, and Alice were just leaving the Novaks' house. "Thanks for having us, it was nice to see you guys again." Anna said as she pulled Michael into a hug.

"Follow my advice." She whispered to Lucifer as she hugged him.

Lucifer smirked at her, but she could see the sadness in his eyes. "Okay lil sis," He said before squatting down to pick up Alice. "See you later sweetheart!"

"Bye Uncle Luc." She mumbled into his neck, obviously dead tired.

Adam pulled Michael into a one armed man hug. "Nice to see you again cousin, keep in touch, will you?"

"Yeah, sure. See you later." Michael said after they separated. Lucifer passed Alice over to him carefully and Michael smiled at the content look on her face. "Bye for now kiddo."

"Bye Uncle Mike." Alice said, barely awake. Michael passed her to Adam, and watched as they walked outside.

"Well, that was fun, but I am exhausted. I'm gonna hit the sack." Lucifer declared after Becky had shut the door.

Becky smiled tiredly. "Yeah, I've made a personal rule not to stay up past 9, so me and Chuck'll probably go to bed too."

Michael nodded and chose to ignore the mental itch inside to correct her grammar. "I'm with you guys there."

Lucifer smirked at him as Becky left and the two walked down the hall to their room. "Literally. I bet you're going to cuddle with me again."

"Oh shut up, it was one time!" Michael said, playfully punching him.

"One time? More like every time," Lucifer laughed as they walked into the room.

Michael closed the door behind him and rolled his eyes at him. "Whatever. Feel free to push me off the bed if I hog the blankets 'cause you know I'll do the same to you."

"Maybe I'll just cuddle up to you instead." Lucifer joked, too tired to care anymore. Michael pretended to puke as he wiggled out of his jeans and shirt, leaving him in just an undershirt and boxers.

Lucifer did the same before he climbed into the bed. "Is it just me, or does this bed feel smaller than it looks?" Michael asked after turning off the lights and getting into the bed.

Lucifer laughed softly. "Yeah, I was wondering if the bed was just that small or you wanted to cuddle me before you fell asleep."

"Shush." Michael said, not having enough energy to talk anymore. They both drifted off to sleep, peacefully dreaming. Neither of them noticed or said anything as they moved closer together until they were practically sleeping on top of each other.   
::::::::::::::  
Meanwhile, Castiel and Dean were walking out of Wayward, the local club. As expected, Madeleine had been there. Dean had actually gotten her to drink a little with him, and now was going home with her. She was more of an idiot than they'd expected. Castiel, who was following them, entertained the idea of running past her screaming, "I'm here to kill you!" just to see if she'd be foolish enough to ignore him.

He'd stashed a gun and two pairs of gloves in the car and grabbed them as the pair walked out. The last thing they needed was to get caught in a simple murder; it'd tarnish their reputation. Castiel could hear Dean and Madeleine laughing and talking up ahead, but he couldn't make out exactly what they were saying.

This was what Castiel loved, the lurking in the shadows, watching and waiting, as they continued on without knowledge that someone was just behind them, stalking. He waited until they started walking down a deserted street before he ran past them and grabbed her purse.

Dean ran after him as Castiel darted into an alleyway. There, he tossed a pair of gloves to Dean, and they waited for her to get there. Castiel heard her footsteps coming, so he quickly hid behind a dumpster while Dean comforted her and gave her back her purse. Castiel waited until Dean was behind her rubbing her shoulders to come back out. When he did, she yelped in fright and turned to run behind Dean, but he held her in place.

"Shh, it's okay. We're not going to kill you, we just need you to pass on a message for us." Dean said comfortingly.

Madeleine sobbed, "What message? For who? I don't care what it is, just let me live, please!"

Castiel rolled his eyes. "He just said we're not going to kill you, but if you don't shut up, I might get tempted to shut you up myself, permanently."

A chill went down Dean's spine when he heard Castiel's voice. He'd always loved that voice that he did right before he hurt or killed them; it was the perfect mix of huskiness, darkness, and danger.

"The message is to Sam Winchester, you know him right?" Dean stepped in, making his voice soft and comforting. "Tell him something's stuck to your shoe and it might get violent."

"If you report this to the cops, we will find you and kill you. We won't tell you our names, but you've heard of us. You really don't want to make us mad." Castiel said, his voice cutting through the air like a knife, which was ironic because he had a knife pressed to her throat. "Do you understand?"

Madeleine nodded, accidentally cutting her neck. "Ow! Yes, I understand!"

Castiel smirked. "I don't think you do. What do you think D.W.?" He asked Dean, knowing she'd be able to connect the dots using the initials, and even if she couldn't, Sam would.

"I don't think I believe her either. Do what you want." Castiel couldn't help but mentally praise Dean for his acting. This was going perfectly. Dean covered her mouth with his hand so if she screamed, no one would hear it.

Castiel stepped forward with his knife and drew a circle onto her skin, light enough so it wouldn't leave her physically damaged, but heavy enough that it would leave a scar. Inside the circle, he placed a W and a C, one on top of the other. It was their mark, the mark they left on all their victims to get credit.

"Alright, I'm going to take my hand off your mouth. If you scream, we will leave another mark on you." Madeleine nodded slightly and Dean stepped back from her. "Run!" He demanded, and she scurried away as fast as possible in her high heels.

Castiel quickly tossed Dean the gun. Dean shot her in the back of the head and laughed quietly as her body crumpled and hit the ground with a muffled thump. Castiel grabbed a piece of paper that he had written the message on and ran over the the body, stuffing it into her hand like she had been holding it.

He turned back to Dean and they high-fived. "Great acting, I wasn't sure if you could pull it off after no practice for like 3 years."

"Ugh, I can't say it was hard for me to pull that trigger. She was super annoying." Dean groaned as they quietly cleaned up the alley way. "Should we wipe the body so my prints aren't on her?"

"Nah, they'll know it's us after the mark and Sam'll know what we're doing after the note, so there's no point." Castiel said as he grabbed her bag and placed it like she had been holding it as she ran away.

"Wait, we should grab her money." Dean rummaged through her purse quickly and grabbed all her cash and change.

The two turned and walked back to the Impala, grinning.


	5. Chapter 5

::::::::::::  
The Next Day  
Sunlight streamed into the small guest room where the two men were sleeping close together on the bed. They looked peacefully, the lines of worry and sorrow were gone from their face. The entire house was quiet until Chuck and Becky tiptoed into the room, Becky with a camera and Chuck with a feather. 

"This is a little creepy, don't you think?" Chuck whispered as Becky snapped a picture before turning to her husband. 

"Nope!" She cheerily whispered back, then kissed him lightly. "We've got to wake them up somehow, and I haven't gotten to prank my kids since Gabe moved out, and that was almost 4 years ago! Now, do you want to use the feather or me?" 

Chuck grinned. "I'll do it, thanks." He went over to them and started moving the feather in circular patterns under Michael's nose before moving just above Michael's head and tickling Lucifer's neck. He continued this in different areas, but what woke them up was when Becky decided to give Lucifer a Wet Willy. 

Lucifer sat straight up, knocking Michael off the bed and onto Chuck, who promptly collapsed on the floor. "What the-? MOM! I thought you stopped pranking!" He yelled. 

Becky and Chuck burst into laughter. "Oh, you should've seen your face!" Becky said before she started laughing again.

By this time, Michael was standing up, looking adorably sleepy still. "I know I said you could push me off the bed, but I didn't mean literally!"

Lucifer smiled softly at him before moving over to grab his waist and pull him back onto the bed. "It was just Mom and Dad being silly." He glared at them in the last part. "Go back to sleep." 

Michael hummed in agreement, then snuggled into the crook of Lucifer's neck. Becky tossed the camera at Lucifer to show him the pictures she took. He rolled his eyes and deleted them. Chuck took the camera and practically pushed Becky out the door.

Lucifer looked down at Michael who was quietly snoring on his chest, and then laid down to go back to sleep, wrapping an arm around Michael before drifting off again.  
:::::::::::::  
2 Hours Later  
Michael slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the bright sunlight in the room. He turned over to look at the clock on the nightstand. When he saw that it said 9:30, he groaned and turned back over to snuggle into his pillow again. 

"Wait, what?" Michael muttered. He shook his head to try and clear the fog from his brain, then turned on his side to check if Lucifer was still there. 

He was met with a white covered chest. Michael's face burned in embarrassment at the realisation that he'd been using Lucifer's chest as a pillow. Glancing up at his friend's face, he was relieved to see that he was still asleep. Michael tried to wiggle out of bed without waking Lucifer up, but realised that Lucifer had wrapped an arm around Michael. 

Michael softly groaned. He loved the fact that Lucifer was unconsciously pulling him closer, but he really needed to pee. "Oh well, I can hold it, hopefully." He thought before allowing Lucifer to pull him back into him and slowly fell back asleep.  
:::::::::::::::  
Meanwhile, Dean and Castiel were back at their hotel room, up and moving around. Castiel was getting ready to go on a run with Ruby, and Dean was doing pushups on the floor.

"Dude, stop panicking. You'll be fine, just act. You're just a friendly visitor that happens to have a St. Bernard as well. Your name is Jimmy Ackles, and I'm Jensen Ackles. Everything will be okay, calm yourself." Dean said as he collapsed onto the floor. 

Castiel was pacing the floor as Ruby looked at him between her paws. "Yeah, but it's been almost 3 years, and I'm not a natural at pretending to be someone else like you. I'm too comfortable in my own skin!" 

"Just shut up and go. You won't mess up because you don't want to go back to jail." Dean paused as he did another pushup. "Practice as you run; it's all in your mindset. If you believe that you're who you say you are, then they will too. Sometimes I freak myself out when I recreate memories with different fake people." 

Castiel stopped pacing for a few seconds to shoot a concerned look at him as Dean returned to his workout. "Okay, well, I guess I should head out now. Thanks for your help." Castiel grabbed the leash, clipped it to Ruby's collar, and walked out the door without a backwards glance.  
::::::::::::::  
About 2 blocks from Sam's house, Castiel chanted in his head, "I am Jimmy Ackles. I'm here with my husband Jensen to pick up Ruby and to visit for Christmas."

Castiel took a deep breath when he saw Jessica before relaxing and smiling as he ran. As the two got close, Ruby immediately started barking.

"Ruby!" Castiel said sternly as she tried to run away. "I'm so sorry, she's usually a super nice dog!" He apologized to Jessica while her dog decided that he'd put out a power move too and began barking back. 

"Well, it seems our dogs do not like each other," Jessica joked, keeping a tight hold on her dog's leash. "I'm Jessica Moore, I don't think I've you seen you around here before?" 

Castiel smiled, realising with a jolt of surprise that it was real. "I'm Jimmy Ackles, and I'd be surprised if you had. My husband and I are just here to pick up Ruby. We gave her to a family friend because we couldn't keep her in the new apartments we had."

Seeing the humans beginning to relax, the dogs started to too. Castiel ran his hand through Ruby's hair to calm them both down. 

Jessica nodded. "Yeah, we actually have the opposite reason. My son, Ash, always wanted a dog, but our landlord never agreed until my fiancee, Sam, came and bought the house. Ash was so excited to get him." She smiled at the memory, then started running again. "It was nice meeting you!" 

"Yeah, you too!" Castiel replied, then started jogging back to the hotel. He checked his watch. 10:44, not too bad.  
::::::::::::::  
At the same time, Lucifer and Michael were wandering out into the kitchen, blind to the fact that the scariest criminal they'd ever met was running with a dog in the front yard. They were blind to all but the strong smell of bacon wafting through the house. 

"Hey honey, have you seen him before?" Becky asked Chuck as she peered over her coffee at Castiel and Ruby. 

Chuck rubbed his eyes as he grabbed another piece of bacon. "Who?" 

"There's a guy on the sidewalk outside running with a dog, and I've never seen him around here before." Becky said as she grew more curious.

"What's he look like?" Lucifer questioned as the two entered the kitchen and grabbed some food. 

Becky peeked out the window again. "He's got black hair that looks rather crazy and shaggy, but not terrible looking, blue or green eyes, I can't tell, and he looks to be around your guys' age, maybe younger. He's got a giant dog too." 

Michael swallowed his scrambled eggs. "The only person I've ever heard of that looked like that is Castiel Collins, but that's impossible because he's locked up." 

Lucifer nodded absentmindedly as he scrolled through his phone with one hand while the other hand held his bacon. "That dude was the creepiest dude ever, and I've met cannibals that wanted to rip me apart, literally." 

Chuck grimaced at the thought and looked at them over his newspaper. "Well, you might want to check your phone anyways Michael, it's been going off all morning. Yours too Lucifer." He added.

Lucifer and Michael shared a worried look before grabbing his phone off the end table in the living room. "Chief Henriksen sent me like a thousand texts and called me a dozen times!" He said as he walked in. 

"Holy crap, we gotta go! Mikey, grab some bacon and throw on a suit!" Lucifer exclaimed suddenly, and was gone in a blink of an eye. 

Michael ran after him, sliding through the hallway and nearly colliding with Lucifer's retreating back. "What's going on?" 

"Remember when Dean Winchester and Castiel Collins broke out of prison like 6 weeks ago? Well, guess who lives here? Sam Winchester." Lucifer explained quickly as he struggled to put his pants on. 

Michael's eyes widened and he rushed to get ready. "Why didn't we know that? Doesn't he have an agent to protect him or something?" 

"Dude, he's a retired serial killer and he's built like a moose, I think he can handle himself." Lucifer buttoned up his shirt hurriedly and threw on his suit jacket. 

Michael smirked as he buttoned up his own shirt and moved forward to re-button Lucifer's. "I don't know how you can be a grown man and still not button up a shirt correctly." When he finished, he looked up at Lucifer. "So why is this so urgent all of a sudden, can't Henriksen send an agent here? We're on vacation." 

Lucifer's heart seemed to skip a beat as he looked down at Michael's dark blue innocent eyes. "They killed someone and left the body in the middle of a sidewalk with their mark on the neck. She was a friend of Sam's, and they left a note." He reluctantly stepped back to grab Michael's suit jacket. "Ready?" 

Michael laughed sarcastically. "As I'll ever be. I can't believe we're solving a murder in the middle of our vacation time." 

The two slid down the hallway in their socks, grabbed their shoes, and walked out the door. "I feel like we're the FBI agents out of a movie. You know, the terribly inaccurate ones with the car chases and guns." Michael whispered to Lucifer as he noticed all the eyes on them. 

Lucifer smirked and whispered back, "We just slid down the hallway in our socks like little kids, and now you feel like an awesome FBI agent?" 

They burst into laughter as they climbed into the car and sped out of the driveway.


End file.
